The Blessing
Based on The Blessing by John Trent and Gary Smalley
In Scripture—especially throughout the Old Testament—the biblical blessing played a central role in family life. A blessing wasn’t just a kind word; it carried identity, value, authority, and inheritance from one generation to the next. While it was often passed from fathers to sons, the principle applies to every parent and every child today.
To understand the power of the blessing—and the pain of missing it—Scripture gives us one of the clearest examples in Genesis 27.
The Story of Jacob, Esau, and the Stolen Blessing
Genesis 27 (NLT) tells the moment when Isaac, nearing the end of his life, prepared to give Esau the blessing of the firstborn. Rebekah overheard and urged Jacob to deceive Isaac so he could receive the blessing instead. Jacob disguised himself, brought Isaac the meal he requested, and Isaac—confused by the voice but convinced by the touch—gave Jacob the blessing meant for Esau.
When Esau returned and discovered what had happened, Scripture says he cried out with a loud and bitter cry, begging for a blessing of his own. Isaac trembled, realizing the blessing had already been given and could not be undone.
Esau’s reaction shows the deep longing every child has: “Is there a blessing for me?”
What Happens When the Blessing Is Withheld
When children do not receive blessing—affirmation, value, identity, and love—they often grow up questioning:
- Am I valuable?
- Do I matter?
- Is there a place for me?
- Do my parents see anything good in me?
A missing blessing can leave a child searching for acceptance in all the wrong places. But the good news is this: the cycle can be reversed. The principles of blessing can be practiced today, no matter your past.
The Five Elements of the Blessing
John Trent and Gary Smalley identify five biblical components that make up a life‑giving blessing:
- Appropriate, meaningful touch Physical connection communicates warmth, acceptance, and belonging.
- A spoken message Blessing must be expressed out loud—words shape identity.
- Attaching high value Communicating that the person is precious, significant, and deeply valued.
- A special future Speaking hope, purpose, and God’s design over their life.
- Genuine commitment Following through with consistent love, presence, and support.
These elements create an environment where children—and adults—can flourish.
The Blessing Can Begin Now
No matter your background, your family history, or what you did or didn’t receive growing up, the blessing can start with you. Applying these principles today allows you to speak life, identity, and purpose into your children—and even into your own heart.
A blessed home is not perfect, but it is intentional. It is a place where value is spoken, identity is affirmed, and God’s design is honored.